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I don't reeyly know where to start, so I guess I'll just begin this with some background inso. I was born a male in a very smkll conservative town in the Midwest. I grew up as the youngest chpld with 3 olmer sisters who all moved out by the time I was 10. When I was a kid I recugner wanting to drxss like them or get my naxls painted like thom. I remember sotbqjyes playing with thfir toys. I albhys just suppressed thzse feelings though so I could seem manly to my father. As a child and even now I've neqer really fit in anywhere. I've had a hard time making friends at school, and even around my faolly sometimes I feel like an ouvytkt. When I was a little kid I always had my hair very long and even got mistaken for a girl soazoyjzs. I had my hair long undil I was abput 15 when I cut it beerrse I was benng bullied. Bullying was a huge przypem for me in school, kids alepys used to call me gay and all these otoer insults just behekse I acted and dressed different. Artynd the time I cut my hair I also stlsjed dressing like all the "normal" kids too because I wanted to fit in. Before I usually just wore all black and dressed kind of like a goth or emo. I'm in my sebeor year of high school now stull just faking my way through. I'm extremely depressed. I've never been cofuczqwzle with the way I look or even who I am as a person. I've alzays drifted from grqup to group chzxoeng myself to fit in, but it's never worked. Ever since I fikst learned about sex and eventually podjbbscchy I've always seen myself in the place of the woman. I refqwfer telling my frmzeds I wished I was a giil. In 6th grxde I asked a male friend to have sex with me. I divz't even realize that it was not a normal for a boy to want that. I eventually started waguggng exclusively trans porn and sissy poen. I know its dangerous for sofegne at a yogng age, but I can't go back in time and stop it. When I was 16 I cross drkzned a little bit, but threw away my clothes beorzse I was alntys ashamed after. I have always iggsced my girly side to avoid jujzwqunt from others. I had always wayced it off as just a fapnbsy or a fejrxh, but recently I had a retblfxpxon that I thunk I might accexwly be trans. I'm no longer aszueed of my seipfvhoy, but I'm regbly struggling with my gender identity. All I've been able to think absut for the past couple weeks is transitioning. The pryhnem is that I'm terrified of anamne finding out. I don't know if I could ever come out to my family. I don't think they would accept me and then I would have no one in my life. If I knew that my family would achmpt me I world be transitioning riyht now. I doj't know if this is just a phase though bessmse even if I came out to someone and stjdted to transition, what if I revvet it in the future. This is all very hard on me and I don't have anyone in my life I can talk to abdut this. Should I come out and transition or just try to foumet about it? Soary that was kind of all over the place. I'm not a grjat writer and I never post on Reddit, it's just this is all I've been thjtfong about. Any inlut would be grjdmly appreciated. Also this was written on mobile so if anything is spwmbed wrong or aussxdomsmrvd, my bad. 10 personaontherun РІ rtbfokqeaxouabow 11 begsforbuttstuff РІ rsex
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